I found myself in a familiar place again, typing out an apology to my mentor for the silence that had stretched between us. “I’m sorry I haven’t checked in more,” I wrote, feeling the weight of my depression like a physical barrier to connection.
Self-Preservation Over Social Obligation
But my mentor’s reply stopped me in my tracks. There was a firmness in their words that caught my attention: I had absolutely nothing to apologize for. They reminded me that managing my mental health was the priority. This exchange was a revelation for me. I had been operating under the assumption that my self-care was a secondary concern, an indulgence that required an apology. Yet here was someone I respected, insisting that my well-being came first.
My Right to Heal
It dawned on me that taking care of my mental health wasn’t just my right; it was essential. I learned that withdrawing to recharge isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. The time I spent dealing with my depression wasn’t time wasted; it was time invested in my future capacity to connect, engage, and contribute.
Dispelling the Stigma
I realized I didn’t owe apologies for my absence in the name of mental health. It was a moment of clarity: if I couldn’t show up for myself, how could I show up for anyone else? The stigma that often surrounds mental health care, the notion that it’s a lesser need, began to crumble for me. I understood that taking the steps to get better, to heal, was not just okay—it was commendable.
Putting Myself First
Now, I embrace self-care unapologetically. That conversation with my mentor became a cornerstone of my philosophy. I’ve learned that it’s not only acceptable to take the time I need, but it’s also vital. I no longer say “sorry” for the space and time I require to work through my mental health challenges. Instead, I acknowledge it as an act of strength and an essential part of my growth and resilience.
By sharing my experience, I hope others will see that taking care of your mental and emotional health should always come first—and it’s not something that requires forgiveness or permission. We all have the right to heal, and we owe it to ourselves to do so freely and fully.
