Friendship should feel like a mutual exchange of support, laughter, and growth—not a damn trap disguised as generosity. But let’s talk about a certain type of woman. You’ve seen her. You might even know her. Hell, you might be her unwitting accessory right now.
She’s that woman who keeps a specific kind of friend around—the ones who struggle just a little more than she does, the ones who could use a financial boost, the ones who never quite “catch a break.” And she? She thrives in comparison. She’s always the one covering the bill, always the one playing the “generous” role. But the truth is, she’s not lifting you up. She’s holding you down.
The Illusion of Generosity
On the surface, she seems like the best friend you could ask for. She pays for drinks, covers the Uber, throws money at whatever fun she wants you to have. You might even feel grateful. After all, she’s treating you, right? That’s what friends do.
Wrong.
Real friends invest in your growth. She’s investing in control.
Let’s break this down in psychological terms: power dynamics in friendships are real, and money is one of the oldest tools of control. When one friend always plays the role of financial provider while the other remains dependent, the relationship stops being an equal exchange—it becomes an unspoken hierarchy. She gets to be the leader. You? The loyal follower.
And what happens when you’re always the one being taken care of? You start to believe that’s your place.
It’s the classic “golden handcuffs” effect. It happens in toxic relationships, in manipulative family dynamics, and yes, in friendships. When someone keeps you close through generosity, it doesn’t always mean they love you—it often means they need you to stay in place.
The Pet, Not the Partner
Now, let’s get to the ugly truth.
Have you ever noticed that despite all her financial “help,” you’re never part of her actual hustles? You’re never inside the money moves, never in the room where the real conversations happen. She’ll take you to brunch, buy you a drink, but you’re never on the payroll.
Why?
Because your struggle is part of the aesthetic.
You’re there to provide contrast. To make her look like the “generous” one. The “successful” one. The “boss” while you stay the cheerleader. And God forbid you actually start to get ahead. Watch how fast that generosity dries up the moment you don’t need her anymore.
When The Bill Comes Due
The worst part? The moment things go south, you’ll see just how much of a “friend” she really is.
Maybe it’s a night out gone wrong. Maybe it’s a reckless decision that leaves you with consequences while she walks away untouched. Maybe it’s you needing help for once—and suddenly, her phone is on Do Not Disturb.
A real friend doesn’t leave you in a ditch to figure things out on your own while they keep it moving like nothing happened.
If you find yourself always being the one who gets the short end of the stick, the one who pays the real price while she pays the tab, then you need to ask yourself: Was she ever really your friend? Or just your owner?
How to Spot the Trap (Before It Catches You)
- Generosity that never leads to empowerment. If she’s always treating you but never bringing you into the game, she’s not helping—she’s handicapping.
- She gets off on comparison. Notice if she surrounds herself with people who make her look better by default.
- She’s nowhere to be found in a crisis. Pay attention to who is there when you actually need help—not just when it’s convenient.
- You’re never more than a background character. If your role in her life feels like you’re just there to make her shine, you’re not a friend—you’re an accessory.
The Final Word
A real friend wants to see you win. If someone is keeping you dependent, keeping you struggling while they thrive, and keeping you on the outside looking in?
They were never your friend. They were just using you as a prop in their story.
So what do you do? Stop playing your part. Stop accepting the handouts and start demanding a seat at the table. And if you’re met with resistance? You already have your answer.
